Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

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Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

[Note: if you like to listen to learn, this post is also a podcast episode. Listen to it on episode 87!]

If you have a tendency to say Yes too much (we discussed why you shouldn’t in episode 82 of the TalentGrow Show podcast), or have a hard time saying No to requests from your boss, co-workers, employees, clients, or even in your personal life, then this blog post is for you.

Read on to learn some of the typical reasons we are reluctant to say No, some totally legitimate reasons why you should be saying No, and how to do it in a way that protects your time, independence, integrity, and your relationships and trust using my 5A Formula for Saying No.

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Should you be an expert-generalist?

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Should you be an expert-generalist?

Even before I knew the term, I have felt like I am an expert-generalist. And while I felt drawn to it, I have felt that traditional career advice implied I was mistaken. So when I first became familiar with this term and the concept behind it, I felt like shouting Hallelujah!

In this post, I'll explain what an expert-generalist is, why you should consider becoming one, and a cool way to do it.

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No regrets: how to make big & scary decisions

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No regrets: how to make big & scary decisions

Periodically, we find ourselves having to make really key decisions that have critical implications. And when we stare these decisions in the eye, it often feels daunting and overwhelming.

In this post, I'll tell you two stories where the decision was tough and how a simple, magical filter question helped make the choice much less daunting.

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Let’s get gritty! (Book Review: Getting Grit by Caroline Adams Miller)

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Let’s get gritty! (Book Review: Getting Grit by Caroline Adams Miller)

Grit is so important to goal accomplishment and success that I decided to share some golden nuggets of wisdom from both the book and the podcast right here in this post, to get you started. In this blog post, I’ll share some of Caroline’s thoughts and ideas on what is grit, specifically her concept of authentic grit, why we need to cultivate more grit in our culture, the good and bad types of grit, and how to grow your grit by adding the ingredients required for grit according to Caroline’s ‘grit recipe’.

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No more Hot Potato networking introductions: the why and how of Double Opt-ins

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No more Hot Potato networking introductions: the why and how of Double Opt-ins

I was guilty. I admit it.

I used to throw around ‘hot potato’ intros left and right.

I was unaware that I was committing a faux-pas.

Until I learned about the 'double opt-in' introduction, that is, and reformed my wayward ways.

What about you – are you guilty of the networking sin of the ‘hot potato’ intro?

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The tale of the racewalking survivor and the ambitious podcaster: 3 goal-setting lessons from my earliest childhood memory

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The tale of the racewalking survivor and the ambitious podcaster: 3 goal-setting lessons from my earliest childhood memory

What do an 80-year-old Israeli racewalker and a young, ambitious Trinidadian podcaster have in common? In this post, I will share the story and the lessons we can all draw from it to improve our goal-setting approach and motivation.
 

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4 reasons to say NO to mediocrity

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4 reasons to say NO to mediocrity

Recently, a Facebook acquaintance has shared some sentiments and articles that have suggested that this is the wrong way to be. That this cultural abhorrence of mediocrity and worship of achievement are doing our society no good. That, in fact, they argued, we should try to appreciate mediocrity and lovingly accept being average, and that we’ll be better off for it.

These views suggest that our society’s constant striving and hard-driving ambition are causing us to be unhealthy and unhappy. And that if we took our foot off the gas a bit, and learned to appreciate the slower, less stressful live of mediocrity we’d enjoy ourselves more.

I say, “NO, NO, NO!” (emphatic enough for ya?)

In this post, I will share four common mistakes people are making about mediocrity and reasons you should say NO to it, and strive for excellence instead.

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3 reasons why sometimes you must toss out your plans

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3 reasons why sometimes you must toss out your plans

Do you ever completely throw out your plans and do something that you spontaneously create in the moment because it seems like a better idea?

If so – do you feel good or guilty about that? If not – are you held back because you’ve already set your mind on a plan and you stick to it?

What’s the right thing to do?

Sometimes, you just gotta toss out your plans.

Here are three reasons why your planning is more important than your plans:

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How to be happier: 4 tips from Positive Psychology (heard on the TalentGrow Show podcast)

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How to be happier: 4 tips from Positive Psychology (heard on the TalentGrow Show podcast)

Since its launch in March 2015, The TalentGrow Show podcast has featured a variety of guests and covered lots of topics related to leading yourself and leading others. Four episodes (so far) have focused specifically on drawing lessons from the world of Positive Psychology. In this post, I’ll drill down to four specific tips shared on those four episodes, that you can use to help you become happier, develop yourself, become more resilient as well as more grateful.

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Paralyzed by fear? How I talked myself off of a cliff and what you can learn from it to overcome your fear

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Paralyzed by fear? How I talked myself off of a cliff and what you can learn from it to overcome your fear

I have a fear of heights.

I don’t know when I picked it up, because I spent my childhood in treetops in my neighborhood and climbing rocks on family hiking trips.  But somewhere, with adulthood, came an irrational fear of heights that has been growing stronger with each passing year.

In this blog post, I described how I became paralyzed by my fear of heights while hiking this weekend, what I did to talk myself off that cliff, and how you can use the same techniques to walk yourself off of any kind of 'cliff' - to overcome fear and move forward courageously.

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Top 10 Takeaways for High Performance from the Tim Ferriss Show Live in L.A.

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Top 10 Takeaways for High Performance from the Tim Ferriss Show Live in L.A.

Last week I attended an incredible event here in Los Angeles: mega-popular best-selling author, blogger, and podcaster Tim Ferriss hosted a live podcast recording event at the famous Troubadour night club in Hollywood – his first live show ever. I was really lucky to grab one of the 25 VIP tickets and be among the hundreds of fans who attended this sold-out 4-hour podcast show (4-hour podcast, get it? get it?).

I got a lot out of the event, including a photo with Tim (I’m such a fangirl) and lots of Q&A time.  The guests on the show were Grammy-nominated DJ Kaskade, Olympian snowboarder/ skateboarder Shaun White, Poetry Slam Champion Sekou Andrews, and DJ Nu-mark of Jurassic 5. Yes, there was even dancing!

Here is a review of my top ten key insights, reminders, and takeaways for me that can also help you along your journey. I’ve divided them into three categories: General insights, Guest insights, and Q&A insights.

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Dumping Perfectionism for Wholehearted Living

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Dumping Perfectionism for Wholehearted Living

In this post, which originally appeared in the Association for Talent Development (ATD) "Links" member newsletter, I provide a summary of the main points and a synopsis of some of my key takeaways from Brené Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below the post!

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Becoming Your Best Self: Will you help me?

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question mark by Marco Bellucci.jpg

Thanks for reading my blog. I really appreciate it. In fact, I really want to know what you think about something.

You see, I'm doing some research for a new project I'm working on (Top Secret - for now). I'd LOVE to get your opinion. It won't take long, I promise. I value your ideas!

Will you take 5 minutes to complete three fill-in-the-blank statements for me?

Just complete these three statements in the comments below. 

  1. ‎"What can help me be my 'best self' is ___________."
    (Think in terms of what supports, what help, what products and/or services, what advice do you seek/have you sought to improve yourself and reach your personal best?)
     
  2. "What frustrates me about trying to become my 'best self' is __________."
    (What have you tried that was unsuccessful? What gets in your way of applying tools/advice you've received? What confuses you? What's missing in your knowledge/skill bank?)
     
  3. "Successful experts/gurus in self-improvement, personal development, or 'life-hacking'  include __________."
    (Who is a good source for information, products, and/or services for self-development?) 

Again: Thank you for your time and input!

Photo by Flickr Creative Commons User Marco Bellucci

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You Might Also Like These Posts:

Bringing your Best Self to work

4 reasons to say NO to mediocrity

How to be happier: 4 tips from Positive Psychology (heard on the TalentGrow Show podcast)